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Personal Finance (Not Investing) • Serving as executor for a friend

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Coincidentally, two friends have each recently expressed an intention to name me as the executor of their respective wills. One lives in NYC, where he owns a coop apartment, and the other lives in Virginia on a farm. I live in neither jurisdiction. Both have fairly significant health issues, so it is doubtful this is a case of “I’ll deal with this in thirty years.”

In both cases, there are family members that are intended beneficiaries. I have asked both friends why they won’t have a beneficiary of the will serve as executor, and in both cases they have more confidence in me than in the family members.

I know that it is possible to decline to serve as an executor, but if there is advice about points to cover with the friends before they complete drafting their wills, that would be helpful. I am a little leery about the burden of needing to dispose of property in these jurisdictions. They aren’t super far away (I live in DC), but they aren’t local to me. I want to be helpful, but this feels like a pretty big ask. It feels odd to name someone as an executor who is not a beneficiary, and who is not even known to the actual beneficiaries.

So any advice on how I can help these friends achieve their objectives while protecting my interests and sanity?
Thank them for their confidence in you, and politely say no, it's too big a responsibility and you live far away.

If it was one good friend that lived in the same city ... maybe. Though you'd want to understand who was POA if they are incapacitated, etc, as per a couple of other posts. I'd also worry about friction between you and the beneficiaries you don't know. For example, would you monitor the actions of the beneficiaries as they go through the house before it is sold? What if they don't like the terms of the will? That would become your problem.

I have no idea how hard it would be to sell a farm in Virginia or this coop in NY, but I do know someone that found it a nightmare to sell a coop in NY.

Statistics: Posted by TN_Boy — Mon May 27, 2024 7:02 pm — Replies 6 — Views 337



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